Among the important lessons I learned from my mother: Take care of your people. This cast of characters included her family, of course, and she could find a whole new level when it came to her grandchildren. Those who accreted to the family through the family were obvious choices, and were included without fail.
As she matured her circle of people grew. Those who worked with her and for her became part of her people. A man from a partner company in Texas had a massive heart attack while visiting Portland, and she spent hours at his bedside in the ICU so he would not be alone. He became part of her people. The homeless man who lived in the doorway of her condo became part of her people. She would look for things he needed and provide them.
Her love was real and acted out regularly, concretely, as warm socks for the homeless man and presence at the hospital bedside of a colleague. It was acted out in prayer and as prayer. Had she lived longer I believe she would have found room for everyone in her circle. She was well on her way, and that’s where her faith was taking her.
In an extended sense, that may be what this food stall proprietor was saying with her sign, “Sold Only Thai People.” She defined her people, Thais, and limiting service to them alone was a way to protect them. In her mind, others may expose her people to greater risk (COVID, in this case).
Heidi and I have commented multiple times: if we’re going to see someone not wearing a mask, or not wearing it properly, it will be a westerner, especially a man. The Thai are wearing theirs. Sure, Thai pull down their masks to take a drink or the like, but they have their masks in the full, upright, and locked position for regular wear.
Just yesterday I was walking along a canal near a major tourist draw, the Jim Thompson House Museum. Freshly painted in English on the sidewalk near the museum, the message “Please wear your mask” asked people to comply with Thai rules. The same stencil appeared several places nearby. It was painted just in English, not also in Thai.
Among those who are choosing not to wear their masks properly, I imagine their people starts with a circle of one, themselves. The mask reminder painted on the sidewalk was asking them to broaden the circle. The woman limiting customer at her food stall was hardening her circle, deciding who would be left out.
In the spirit of the journey my mom was on during her life, I wonder if we can look at enlarging our circles? I may not want to hang out in a closed room with mask avoiders, but if I don’t really care about them, how can I ask them to really care about me, or about others?
I believe in good boundaries; I don’t believe in allowing oneself to be abused by others. But where we can, in a healthy and safe way, we might try caring about others the next ring out, to let them be part of our circle of people.
(The photo above hit my Facebook feed a few days ago, posted by Richard Barrow in Thailand. Richard is a treasure of information for expats here.)
(Jim Thompson, an American who some claim revived the Thai silk industry, came to Thailand during WW2 with the OSS – as a spy – and continued in the country with silk and the CIA until he mysteriously disappeared one day in Malaysia in 1967.)