Heidi and her twin sister, Holly, were working at the same school in China. When we left for the Lunar New Year holiday in January, 2020, Heidi and I went to play in Malaysia while Holly and her husband, Scott, returned to the States to spend a couple weeks with their kids.
It was those couple weeks when things went to crap.
Heidi and I took refuge in Singapore; Holly and Scott jumped between Airbnb’s in Washington State and Vancouver, B.C. Those were the good old days, when many of us thought things would sort themselves out in a few weeks.
Once our school began teaching online, Holly and Scott found the time difference too difficult and wanted to get to Asia while waiting for a safe return to China. A friend of Heather and Jamie offered an empty condo in Johor Bahru, just across the causeway in Malaysia, about 10 miles away from where we were staying. Soon, Holly and Scott were flying to Singapore. For a few weeks it was grand, sisters together, working Monday to Friday and playing on the weekend. Singapore still felt relatively safe and life was mostly normal.
We had a great weekend together in Indonesia in mid-March. It was the last we would see Holly and Scott while in Singapore; it remains the last we have seen them.
That 10 miles between our refuge in Singapore and theirs in Malaysia would prove a critical difference in the choices we would have over the next 18 months or so. We were pursuing the same strategy: trying to stay someplace (relatively) safe in Asia while waiting for our return to China. This came down to extending our stays in Singapore and Malaysia as long as possible, at least long enough to get somewhere else in the region.
Malaysia imposed an even stricter lockdown than Singapore. While Heidi and I could still take daily walks in the park, Holly and Scott were confined to their condo and brief excursions to the grocery store in the neighboring building. Life got really small for them.
Ironically, Malaysia’s strict lockdown better supported Holly and Scott’s plan. Because no movement was allowed in Malaysia, they couldn’t get from Johor Bahru to Kuala Lumpur in order to leave the country. They overstayed their visas, but the government acknowledged they could stay for 7 days beyond the eventual end of the “Movement Control Order” – their lockdown.
In practice, this gave Holly and Scott a couple more months in Malaysia than we were granted in Singapore. When the Movement Control Order lifted, South Korea had opened to certain foreigners. Holly and Scott jumped. Before their welcome ended in Korea, China opened a lane for people who held work permits in the country. They got back.
After we returned to the U.S. and while Holly and Scott were still waiting in Malaysia, Heidi negotiated a contract with our school to work remotely for the coming year, taking a significant pay reduction. My job was gone; they did not need a remote librarian. When China opened, we did not return. We were committed to the U.S. for the year.
Working remotely, Heidi desperately missed her colleagues. It was a long and lonely year for her at work, professionally frustrating. I did a little gig work. We struggled to determine our next step until it was finally settled in February with our choice of Thailand. Despite these struggles, we lived with my father for the year, enjoying great time with him. We saw our kids twice, including during a cross-country road trip when we visited much of Heidi’s family as well.
Holly and Scott have led pretty normal lives since returning to China, and they’ve been hot properties in their Chinese job searches. Schools there haven’t been able to recruit teachers from abroad since they can’t get them in. That means the remaining teachers have become more valuable. But, Holly and Scott have been stuck in China since they last arrived more than a year ago. They haven’t seen their kids, can’t leave this Christmas (because they can’t get back in if they leave), and probably won’t get out until at least this coming summer. There’s some question of even that. They desperately miss family.
Which of the twin sisters has had it better? There have been joys and struggles on both sides, wins and losses. I’m sure at various points either would have traded places with the other.
Many people have had it worse than either of them, often for no reason other than geography, the luck or hazard of where they’re born or live at the time. Geography defines many choices.
In our case, it was all a matter of 10 miles.